Ugh, he is leading me on. Well, that's what I think. I'm for certain that he doesn't like me. But, why does it seem like he does sometimes? First, the fake kiss, cheek to cheek [thestartingline!], the way he looks at me in the mornings, and now, how we're completely matching. Maybe i'm exaggerating the details. I mean, he is a flirt. And plus, he likes blahblah</3.. well, atleast i think he does. He should stop playing around with my head. And, i need to stop these reoccuring feelings that i have for him constantly. Damn it. Why do i even like him? All he is, is a fucking beautiful face... and he makes me laugh.. Gah. That beautiful face! And, the ears.. the ears we share that hunger for the same kind of music. I need him. I want him. I want to have him. But damn it. WHY!? Of all people!? This brings me back to the time when we first met. And how, he began liking Daphne Loves Derby because of me. I swear to God I couldn't listen to any other band for a  while after that. And, even up til now, everytime I hear "Hopeless Love", I feel like I can't give up because.. because  i'm so hopeless. I'm hopeless. Damn it YOU. I'm fucking hopeless.

.....

We became acquainted around March, and since that certain day, I've been wanting to see you. I always tried to find a way and I always waited for Sean to say something about upcoming "events" that would let me see you for once. It's weird yeah? liking you before even seeing you? But, even after being deprived of all the chances to meet you ... we still maintained a good relationship.. but somehow, lost it over the Summer. And now, that I finally get to see you every fucking day.. it's more harder than ever.

-edit-

i want you. i promise to take you to school with me<3.

i'm sad right now. but pissed at the same time. if you have something to say about me, please say it to my face. i can't believe that you think that i'm a boycrazy stupid hoe. damn it. but i don't blame you. i know i've been changing around "liking" people. but let me say this, if i think someone is hot, does it mean i like them? NO. [ok, i took off the last line]

edit:

school was as normal as usual. some hearts have been broken. over love and friendship. god damn you. nothing new really happend, except that in first period, Sherry&Diana went head-to-head in a mean game of 24. And, in 5th period, we had a small party for Ms.Warner. She's moving to New York and getting married. Best of luck to her, yeah?

after school. let's see. i spent the first 30 minutes or so after school just standing around at the south stairs area with Robin, Kamille, ThisOneGirl[Ashley or Jessica, I believe?], Grace, Dakota, and John. Blah blah. John and Grace were being cute. Then, later, I went to the place where the ice cream truck is usually around [the crossing =D] and found NIKKI&AURA. I stayed with them for a while and we just chatted about whatever and watched some people passby. Hah. PeopleO_O. Nikki was going to go home with me, and we decided to stay with Aura until she left. Anyway, when me and nikki got to my house. We just chilled and later, went to walk around. We walked down Deep Dell and saw Randy with some other dude. They were having band practice I suppose? Then, we went to Boone Park and just looked at that tree with the DanielBooneKilledABear carving thingy. I think it's fake. Oh yeah, speaking of thingy, Nikki thought that the tree was a penis when she was younger. haha. As we were walking back, it was just perfect timing. Two boys were just leaving Angels' house and one of them yelled, "SHOW YOURSELF!" It was Larry and Steven. I just sat on the curb and watched Nikki chat with them. Larry thought that Nikki was 18 or 19. Whoa. THAT old? Haha. Is that a good thing, or a bad thing? You be the chooser. I think it's good. Now, we can go to RatedX movies .We stayed for a very short while and left. Larry was really hungry. Haha. After that, we went to visit Andrew. He was "naked". O_O. Haha. And um, after that? We just headed home and ate until Nikki had to go. Well, that's all.

For Now.

Happy Halloween all. I'm at home, bored. So much for fun. I wish I went to Auras'. I saw Anthony tonight. I wish I did something cool today. Well, time to bond with my new issue of AP.

Lawrence<33